What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 18.06.2025 01:12
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
How did Kate Mulgrew feel about Jeri Ryan joining the cast of Star Trek: Voyager?
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
She loved him until the end.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Comes on , in middle age.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
Why didn't my ex fight for our relationship? He gave up so easily.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
But it wasn’t much.
What is it like to be the slave in a mistress-slave relationship?
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
PlayStation Plus free open-world RPG is 3 times the size of Skyrim - GAMINGbible
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
I never cut or harmed myself..
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
What traits are considered unattractive? Which traits are typically seen as attractive and why?
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
I could never make a relationship work though!
How did Madri, mother of Nakula and Sahadeva die?
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
Would this be the day?
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
Why are the bands Smashmouth and Nickelback often used as punchlines?
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
He was dying to do it , i knew.
Has your wife or girlfriend ever been felt up in public by a stranger?
I will be 64.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
I was 9 years of age.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
But ive been too sick for many years..
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
He resisted the act ,that day.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
We all went to grammer schools
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
Im dying but, im not bitter.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
My family never makes their pension either.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
What did i know ?
She found it foreign!.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Put me off passion for life!!
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
Im still living with it.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
He knew the spot.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
My life is so biszare .
I was scared of men, in general
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
All the time i was locked up.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
So, i spoilt her more .
I think the readers, may guess!
I had hoped to write a book about this .
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
I couldn’t, believe it.
She married twice! .
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
As i do to all so called friends.?
(And it was in our own minds.)
I waited trembling.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
They are buried together, in the same grave..
Why did i forgive my father ?
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
And i lived it daily.
This is soul school!.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
And who doesn’t know suffering?
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
Was to survive, this bastard.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
So whats the point in blame.
I write beautiful poetry .
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
One cannot live in the past .
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Ive learnt so much.
She was in good health!
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
It was going to be , some day.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
I was very sick at this time too.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
Who then, do I blame.?
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
We were not on the streets..
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
I said to her
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
She wouldn,t have been !
This is how, and why children get BPD.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
When she asked me how she looked .
Where the ultimate outsiders.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
I don,t even have a pension.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
I have no regrets .
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
Especially a lifetime of it.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
I was seconnd youngest,
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
But, we were locked up after school.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.